The Hidden Melody

I think most of us can recall that “lovable” line from the Nickelodeon cartoon “Hey, Arnold!”  If not, here’s some background info:  On the show, there was this female “bully” named Helga who picked on a nice, likable kid named Arnold.  She called him football head (his head was totally shaped like a football) and took most opportunities to be an all out jerk to him.  However, at her home she had a shrine (yes a shrine) built honoring Arnold and her unrequited love.  Apparently she was crushing on him but could only express her love by being an -uh, you know…

I remember watching that show as a kid and thinking, “Helga is crazy.”  The writers made her so crazy I wasn’t even sure I wanted to see her get with Arnold.  He seemed too good for her.  How could you root for someone who beats up on a person and treats them horribly because they LIKE them?

I thought things like that only happened in cartoons–no way people were living that way in real life.

And then I got called football head.

Ok, not literally.  But it sure felt that way.  Of course, I found out that some of the people who were treating me so bad, were doing so because they secretly liked me or at least they liked my work.  As adults, we generally deal with difficult co-workers or folks of the same sex whom we find ourselves bumping heads with on a regular basis and it’s usually deeper than, “I just don’t like him/her.”

The difference between these folks and Helga is that Helga knew she was in love with Arnold.  She knew that she admired him and that he was the love of her life.  The scary thing in your situation is that most of these folks really think they don’t like you when essentially they simply can’t see that they admire (alright maybe envy) how great you are.

Here’s the interesting thing–no matter how bad Helga treated Arnold, he was always doing something nice for her.  If he wasn’t getting her out of jams he was being polite and encouraging.  He had such a good little heart.

Long story short–most of us have to deal with difficult people in some regard and well, you never know who has a shrine of you in their closet that they’re whispering sweet nothings to every night.  (ok, that was such a really creepy concept for a kids show…)

The point–never compromise your character when you encounter these situations.

Unfortunately, some folks will never change. I’ve learned that a lot of people are dealing with a plethora of internal issues and there’s no way they’re coming to the light without some professional help.

I can’t remember if Helga ever confessed her love for Arnold and I’m not sure that your archenemies will ever confess their secret love for you.  You can’t always control the actions of others so it’s a must you stay true to you which generally means taking the high (sometimes really high) road.

As my friend once told me, “Never let anyone knock you off your box.” Ruffle your feathers, get under your skin, all of that…

So the next time someone calls you “football head” pause and remember they are probably obsessed with your brilliance; post a big smile on your face and say, “Aw geez, I love you too.”

“Disclaimer: This doesn’t excuse anyone’s poor behavior; it’s just a friendly tip/reminder to help you get through those rough days ”